#i just have lots of thoughts and feelings ok

[sengenism]

The Ishigamis and The Gifts of Science

Dr. Stone is a love letter to humanity and its sciences. The main character, Senku, often acts averse to all forms of affection, and the only love he doesn't deny is his love for science. But Senku is so so full of love. He just expresses it in a way other than physical touch or words of affirmation. He gives.

But let's go back to the one who taught him so– Byakuya Ishigami, his father. The love of Senku's life.

Byakuya is introduced in the tenth chapter of the manga as a dotting father who sells his car to present Senku with scientific instruments he will need for a more efficient research. This car is Byakuya's means of transportation, and given that he is crying and shaking in this scene, it could not have been easy for him to lose it. But his love for Senku is so big, that he wants to support his son's passion even if it means sacrificing a great convenience for him.

And Senku? Senku truly fell in love with science at this moment.

If there is anything that Senku is, he is Byakuya Ishigami's son through and through. They may seem like two very different people, as Byakuya is an openly affectionate guy while Senku is more closed off with showing his true emotions. But Senku takes more from Byakuya than not, and one of them is by showing his love and/or care for others through giving the gifts of science.

And it starts with Byakuya.

[Bodysuit Acquired!]

Byakuya had failed his first attempt at being an astronaut ten years back, but he doesn't give up and tries again. Senku then creates a bodysuit that manipulates muscle movement to help Byakuya pass his swimming test. And while the bodysuit doesn't quite help Byakuya to swim, the thought Senku had put into it had motivated Byakuya more than ever to pass the test. This is one of the fundamentals of gifting– sometimes, it really is the thought behind it that matters.

This motivation is what Byakuya credits during his interview with JAXA for passing the tests. He understands that Senku might not have given him any words of encouragement, but this bodysuit was all the words that were needed between them. Senku wants Byakuya to achieve his dreams just as badly. It's the way Senku shows his love for his father.

And it's the way Senku shows his love for others too.

[Glasses Acquired!]

One of the primitive aspects of the Ishigami village is that it considers bad eyesight as a type of "disease". Fuzzy disease, to be exact.

Suika wears a melon mask at all times to help clear her eyesight, which Senku later reveals is due to the pinhole effect. She, however, has never told Senku or the others about having the fuzzy disease. Senku himself notes how odd it is for her to wear a melon around, and confronts her about it once he decides to create glass. This is one of the most beautiful scenes in Dr. Stone, as Suika finds out that her disease was never a disease, and is finally able to see as clearly as the others. Senku basically gives her perfect eyesight, something she didn't even know was possible before.

[Antibiotics Acquired!]

One of the most beloved people in this village is the priestess, Ruri. Two of Senku's new friends, Kohaku and Chrome are deeply affected by her unknown fatal disease. Senku is such a person who would help a stranger even if there is no benefit to do so (though he would never admit to it), what more a person who his new friends truly love and care about. He cures Ruri of pneumonia, giving her a chance to live a life without the worry of it being her last day every day.

[Cola Acquired!]

Senku forms an alliance with Gen, who plays the role of Tsukasa's spy, for the promise of a bottle of cola. Both Senku and Gen are aware that the cola is only a front for Gen's loyalty to Senku and the Kingdom of Science, for Gen needs his superficial reputation as a comfort and cannot simply join them if there is no personal benefit for him to do so.

This cola is also the first gift post-petrification that Senku brands himself on, probably because it represents the first gift that is not out of necessity and leans toward a comfort/luxury that they both used to enjoy in the modern world.

For a modern man such as Gen, drinking his favourite soda in the stone world might have been one of the happiest days in his life.

[Cotton Candy Acquired!]

Senku cares about people so much, even if the people in question have tried to kill him. Senku sees Homura as a soldier who is merely following the orders given by her leader, but he also sees the Homura as a lonesome girl sitting by herself on trees day and night.

As usual, Senku hides his kindness and care by showing an evil ulterior motive, such as turning Homura to their side using the cotton candy, but Ruri points out that this is a facade. Similarly to Gen, a person with such an ego is unable to seem as if he is doing something good out of the kindness of his heart.

[Stove Acquired!]

As winter approaches, the elders in the village are worried about losing people to the cold. Senku hears about this and creates a stove which has a multi-purpose of cooking and also radiating heat for the people to stave off the coldness of winter. And speaking of winter...

[Christmas Acquired!]

Senku hangs up lights in the tree for the "light bulb test" on a random night. Except the date isn't random at all and he drops enough hints for Gen to catch on that it is the night of Christmas. The significance of the day is only appreciated by Gen and himself, as they are the only modern timers in the village. It is for the sake of nostalgia, but Senku would rather be caught dead than admit that he is a sentimental guy with such irrational feelings.

And well, it all comes back to that scene with Byakuya, doesn't it? If you recall, Byakuya calls himself "Santa" while giving the scientific presents to the young Senku. This indicates Senku received them during Christmas. Which means... Christmas is a sentimental day to Senku and his father. An anniversary of Senku receiving his Christmas presents from Byakuya, which led to his deeper dive into his science obsession. The beginning of it all, one would say.

And even though he's dead and buried, Byakuya never stops giving. He gives Senku the Ishigami village to provide Senku with allies. He gives Senku Lillian's music, because he believes in the light of music and understands the importance of media to society. He collects platinum till his last breath, because he believes that Senku will need it someday. Byakuya keeps on giving to Senku, because his love for his son is so huge and unconditional. And because he promised.

Surely, there is no greater love in the manga than Byakuya's love for his son and Senku's love for his father. Byakuya could easily win ten billion best father awards... well, not like there's much competition for that in shounen mangas.

[societyfolklore]

Hi girl ❤️ i hope it's ok to send in a request due to my birthday today 🥰 i thought of something where the reader is working at the Avengers Compound and trains new agents, but one of them grows fond of her and like creeps up on her or follows her around all the time. Soon Bucky noticed that and decides to help. As the guy then again waits up on you and gets too close for Bucky's liking, he steps in between and kisses you passionately, making the creep leave and takes you by surprise. But what started as only some help, continues in Bucky's bedroom, revealing hidden feelings and passion 😏 i hope this is ok with you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I am honored to have gotten this (first request ever so I am truly flattered) I hope you had great birthday! Sending lots of love across the sea! Hope you enjoy this story :)

Title: No Competition

Pairing: Avenger Bucky Barnes  x SHEILD agent/trainer! Female Reader  

Summary:  A new recruit keeps ‘sniffing’ around you and Bucky isn’t having it.

Word Count:  2.5K

Warnings:  / Explicit Content /18+, Minors DNI, Smut, Unprotected Sex, Grumpy Bucky, Unwanted attention, No beta!

A/N: My first request! Wee! @twistersmaverick thank you!

The Avengers Compound hummed with activity. Down in the training gym the rhythmic sounds of punches landing on training bags and the sharp commands of instructors filling the air. You were in your element, guiding a group of new recruits through their drills. Most of them respected your authority, but one had become... too attentive.

Ryan Daniels.

He was taller than most of the recruits, lean but with a wiry sort of strength that made him quick on his feet. But something about him set your nerves on edge.

He was always around, lingering at the edge of your training sessions, offering to help when you didn’t need it, staring too long when he thought you wouldn’t notice. He even started volunteering for sparring demonstrations more than anyone else. At first, you put it down to eagerness- wanting to impress- but it was getting a little much. It was suffocating, and no matter how many polite rejections you gave, he never seemed to take the hint.

Worse still, Bucky had noticed. 

You first caught onto it when he started showing up during your sessions, lingering by the doorway, arms crossed, that signature scowl deepening whenever Daniels got too close. You didn’t think much of it at first- Bucky liked watching sparring sessions, after all. You appreciated his feedback, his insights. But then Bucky started walking you back to your quarters at the end of the day, or appearing in the hallways just when you were about to run into Daniels.

The fact that you and Bucky were friends- had even been partners on missions- made his presence feel natural, reassuring. He had always had your back, always stepped in when you needed him. And you hadn’t even had to tell him that Daniels made you uneasy. He just knew.

And now, as you exited the training room, drenched in sweat and ready to head for a shower, Daniels was waiting. Again.

“Hey, just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed today,” he said, blocking your path. “I was thinking maybe you could give me some private lessons? One-on-one?”

You sighed, already preparing your refusal, but before you could speak, a solid, muscular form slid between you and Daniels.

Bucky.

“She’s busy,” Bucky said, voice even, but sharp like a blade.

Daniels’s eyes darted between the two of you, lingering a little too long, and then he took a step back. “I was just asking- ”

Before he could finish, Bucky turned, grasped your face between his hands, and kissed you.

Not just any kiss- this was possessive, overwhelming, and laced with something deeper. His lips moved against yours with a hunger that took your breath away. Heat shot through your veins, and before you could even react, he was pressing closer, his body shielding yours completely.

Daniels muttered something and stalked off, but you barely noticed. Bucky’s lips lingered on yours for a moment longer before he pulled back, his blue eyes dark with something unreadable.

“What- ” you started, but he was already grabbing your hand, pulling you with him.

“C’mon,” he murmured, voice husky. “We’re not done here.”

You barely had time to process what had happened before you found yourself in his room, the door clicking shut behind you. Bucky’s eyes never left yours as he backed you up against the wall, hands bracketing your hips. The intensity in his gaze sent a shiver down your spine.

“That wasn’t just for show, was it?” you whispered.

Bucky smirked, the cocky tilt of his lips betraying just how long he’d been holding back. “No, Doll. Not even close.”

And then he kissed you again, deeper this time, hands exploring, pulling you flush against him, unraveling every ounce of tension between you until all that was left was raw, unfiltered passion.

His fingers trailed down your sides, gripping your hips before hoisting you up effortlessly. Instinctively, your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you to the bed, his lips never leaving yours. The feel of his weight pressing you into the mattress sent a thrill through you, a needy whimper escaping as he tore his mouth from yours to trail heated kisses along your jaw and down your neck.

“Been wanting this for a long time,” he murmured against your skin, his vibranium fingers cool as they traced up under your shirt. “Wanted you.”

You shivered, arching into his touch, fingers threading into his hair as he sucked at your pulse point. “Bucky...”

“Couldn't stand the way that pathetic puppy Daniels kept sniffing around ya. Not right.” His voice was rough, tinged with something dark and possessive. His teeth scraped against your throat, a lingering tease, a whispered claim. "You're with me."

The sound of your voice, breathy and desperate, seemed to snap something in him. His lips returned to yours in a feverish clash, hands roaming, teasing, exploring until you were gasping against him. Every touch, every press of his body against yours, ignited something deep within you- a hunger you had no intention of denying tonight.

"Yours huh?" you teased, smirking up at him, but who were you kidding? You’d wanted Bucky since the first time he’d laid you out on your back on the training mats. But you knew his trauma, knew how hard it had been for him to let people in. You hadn’t wanted to push, not when he was just starting to come out of his shell around others. So, you'd kept your feelings buried, waiting, wondering if he’d ever see you the way you saw him.

But now? The way he was looking at you, the way he was touching you, left no doubt in your mind- he did.

A sharp gasp left your lips as his vibranium fingers slid under your shirt, pushing it up just enough for his mouth to find your skin. Instead of removing your bra completely, he hooked a finger under one cup, tugging it down until your breast was exposed to the cool air. His lips, hot and insistent, nuzzled against your chest before his tongue flicked over one sensitive peak, drawing a broken moan from you. He latched on, suckling deeply, teasing with his teeth and tongue, his grip tightening around your waist as if he couldn’t bear for you to move away.

"Clothes off. Now." His voice was a rasped command, eyes burning with something primal, something uncontrollable.

Then his flesh hand dropped to your hips, making quick work of your pants, yanking them down in one smooth motion. You barely had time to kick them off before he was pressing back against you, his metal fingers trailing fire across your bare skin. 

The moment you were stripped down, he was on you, mouth hot and demanding against your neck, collarbone, and lower, his tongue tracing heated patterns along your skin. Your hands fumbled at his clothes, desperate to feel him against you, to strip away every barrier between you. You yanked at his shirt, dragging it up and over his head, your fingers immediately splaying over the hard planes of his chest, nails scraping lightly over his skin. Bucky groaned at the contact, his muscles twitching under your touch as he shrugged off the fabric and pressed back into you, the heat of his bare skin seeping into yours. 

His hands were everywhere- gripping, kneading, exploring, as though he was committing every inch of you to memory. His vibranium fingers trailed down your stomach, teasing the edge of your underwear before he hooked a finger under the band and pulled them down, slow and deliberate, eyes locked onto yours the entire time.

"How'd that damn wet eared puppy think you’d want him?" Bucky murmured against your skin, his lips pressing a kiss just above your navel. "That he could ever make you feel what I can."

Your fingers tangled in his hair as he kissed lower, dragging his tongue over your hip, teasing. "Bucky…"

"He’s not even in the same league as you, Doll," he growled, his hands bracketing your thighs as he kissed his way back up, trailing over your stomach, up the valley between your breasts, before returning to one peaked nipple. He latched on, suckling, teasing with his tongue as you arched into him, your hips rolling instinctively.

Bucky groaned when you ground against his stomach, then lower, feeling the heat of you pressed against him. His own hardness twitched in response, straining against his underwear, pressing into your thigh. He chuckled, breathless, against your skin. “You squirm so damn much, Doll.”

Your fingers dug into his shoulders as you rocked against him, a mix of need and impatience surging through you. "It’s been a while, Bucky," you admitted, your voice a hushed confession between pants of breath.

His movements slowed for a moment, his hand skimming up your side, eyes locking onto yours. "Need to go slow?" There was something softer under the roughness of his voice, something unspoken, like he was giving you an out.

"Hell no," you whispered, pulling him down into a searing kiss, rolling your hips up to meet him, needing more, needing him.

Bucky chuckled against your lips, returning the heat of the kiss before he was shoving his underwear down, kicking them off in a rush. You pawed at his back, nails dragging over his skin as you arched, feeling him- hot and hard- press against your inner thigh. The sheer sensation of him, bare and unrestrained, sent a shiver through you. The rigid weight of him against your sensitive skin making your breath hitch. A soft moan slipped free as your hips rolled instinctively against him, the friction sending sparks along your spine.

His flesh hand slid between you, fingers tracing over your slick heat, making you gasp as he teased. "So damn wet for me already," he murmured, his forehead pressing against yours.

Propped up on his metal elbow, he watched your reaction, drinking in every gasp, every quiver as he circled and teased, drawing out your pleasure before he aligned himself with you.

Your hands sank into his hair, gripping tight as he finally pushed forward, stretching, filling, a broken moan escaping your lips as he sank into you, inch by inch. Bucky groaned, his jaw clenching as he fought to keep control, his hand gripping your hip, holding you steady as he bottomed out. "Fuck, Doll..."

Your back arched, legs tightening around his waist as you both took a moment, breathless, caught in the overwhelming intensity of finally coming together.

"Yeah- damn," you gasped, brows pinching together as you adjusted, feeling yourself tighten around him, slick and needy. This was better than anything your imagination had ever thrown at you, the feeling of him stretching you, filling you, so much more intense than you’d expected.

Bucky groaned as he pulled back, his breath shuddering, then sank back in, dragging himself against your internal ridges in a way that had your body tightening around him instinctively.

"Au-uh!" The moan was breathy, breaking free as pleasure crackled through you, overwhelming and raw.

His pace was slow at first, deliberate, his whole body moving above you, close enough that every shift of his hips pressed you into the mattress, close enough that the hot, wet kisses he dragged along your throat sent sparks of heat racing through you. His hands gripped you like he needed to ground himself, like letting go wasn’t an option.

"Christ, you feel so good, Doll," he moaned, the sound rumbling deep in his chest, vibrating against your skin as he buried himself in you again.

"Should've done this sooner," he muttered against your lips, his voice thick with need.

A breathless laugh slipped from you, but it broke off into a moan as he pulled back, then thrust forward again, dragging himself against every sensitive spot inside you. "Should’ve just had you on those training mats that first time."

Had he felt that same spark you had all those months back? The thought barely had time to take root before it was washed away, replaced by sensation as his hips picked up pace, rolling deeper, harder, his body moving fluidly above you. Every shift, every thrust, sent heat coiling through your core, winding tighter and tighter.

"W-would've saved us a lot of time if ya had," you panted, the words breaking apart between breathless little gasps as he drove you closer to the edge.

Bucky groaned, dropping his forehead against yours, his lips brushing over yours between ragged breaths. His breath was warm, uneven, ghosting over your skin as he tried to catch it, but there was something else in his expression. Relief. Like he’d been holding onto this for so long, unsure if he’d ever get the chance. Now that he had, he wasn’t letting go.

"Yeah- God, feel ya, Doll. So fucking tight for me. Gonna fill you up so good."

The idea had you reeling, a needy whimper slipping free as your nails raked down his back, spurring him on.

"Gonna fill you up so deep, Doll," he rasped, voice rough, desperate, each thrust making his words more strained. "Make sure no one else even thinks they could have you- 'cause you're mine. Always been mine."

His words unraveled you just as much as they did him.

"Buck- fuck, I- God- yours- fuck!" Your moans spilled out in broken cries, pleasure cresting higher with each roll of his hips.

Bucky groaned, his grip tightening on your waist as he buried himself deeper, his breath coming fast and ragged. "That's it, sweetheart- come for me. Wanna feel you squeeze me, wanna take every damn bit of it."

The words sent you spiraling, pleasure crashing over you in waves as your body clenched tight around him, pulling him deeper, dragging him with you. Bucky groaned, hips stuttering as he buried himself to the hilt, his release following yours, a strangled moan escaping as he spilled into you. He held you close, his body trembling against yours as you both rode it out, gasping for breath in the aftermath.

He collapsed against you, careful not to crush you under his weight, his face finding the crook of your neck. He stayed there, panting, pressing soft, lazy kisses against your damp skin as his hand stroked slow circles over your hip.

For a long moment, neither of you spoke, just basking in the heat between you, in the weight of what had just happened. Then, with a breathless chuckle, you murmured, "Guess I should send Daniels a fruit basket."

Bucky lifted his head slightly, brows knitting in confusion. "What?"

You grinned sleepily, running your fingers through his sweat-dampened hair. "As a thank you. If he hadn't been such a creep, you might've never taken the leap."

Bucky groaned, shaking his head before pressing a teasing nip to your collarbone. "Doll, if you send that little shit a fruit basket, I'm making you pay for it later."

You smirked. "Oh? And how exactly would I be paying?"

His blue eyes darkened, a lazy, satisfied smirk tugging at his lips. "Guess you'll just have to wait and see."

[shroomerr]

Wham bam bam! Couple of Agent stuff!! I was initially just going to post the two images but then it felt a bit empty, so I decided to doodle an interaction between Agent and Mysterion.

More process drawings under the cut for those interested!!

[faeylayn-blog]

"Dragon, I've come to slay you!" Confused, you look at the unarmored child pointing a wooden sword at you. Her eyes are shot through with blood red and the dried tears have left salt tracks down her cheeks that glisten in the icy realm you call your own. You’ve seen that look of determination before, by several humans with some emotional wound they seek to cover by trying to take it out on a valuable prize.

You lock eyes as your bulk shifts to align with hers in the narrow cavern. “So I see. And I have no doubt that you would do your utmost in your attempt. But I wonder…” You pause as she stumbles and struggles to maintain her posture. “If you might wish to rest and recover before you do so? You would need all your strength to slay a dragon such as myself, wouldn’t you?”

She grips her sword even more tightly, forcing it to remain pointed at your eyes. “You can’t trick me! I - I - I’m going to get you! You won’t make me stop so you can beat me while I’m not ready!”

You raise a claw to your chest, exaggerating the innocence to her accusations. “I have no intention of it. I simply think that it would not be a fair fight as you currently are. I give you my word that I will do nothing to harm you until you wish to fight me.” Your arm opens to a large alcove of soft plants and cushions you often nap in and quietly offer, “It’s such a long climb up to my home, surely you could use a few moments to catch your breath at least?”

Without waiting for an answer you turn to walk into the alcove, stoking a fire in the corner and looking around for the teapot your last human friend had left with you decades ago. Where did that damn thing go? 

Behind you, a shuffling series of the lightest footsteps follows you accompanied by a very shaky “W-well, ok maybe.” A small yawn rises behind you as you set the teapot above the fire.

You turn to see the child rubbing her eyes while bouncing from one foot to the other in the opening from the main cavern. “So… umm… is this your… lair?”

A light chuckle escapes your throat. “I suppose you could call it that. But it is my home. Please, feel free to take a seat.” 

She warily eyes every corner of the alcove as though a trap might jump out from any shadow. You smile as she hoists herself up onto a pillow and sinks into the soft platform. 

She lets go of her wooden sword as she tries to sit up. It’s little more than two large sticks crudely tied together with a childish knot holding the cross-like shape. You clear your throat, “That’s quite a formidable weapon you’ve got there. Did you fashion it yourself?”

The child looks around in a panic before seizing the sword and holding it tightly to her chest. “Y-yes. I… I figured I’d need a strong weapon… to fight a dragon and all.” She eyes you, looking for any sign of anger or a need to defend herself.

“It certainly seems like a good idea if that’s what you need to do.” The teapot begins to whistle and you turn to take it off the fire, pouring some hot water over peppermint leaves and taking the tray over to her pillow. She’s not clutching the weapon as tightly when you place the tray down. “Do you like peppermint? I’ve been told it’s quite good after a long trek in the cold.”

You step back and loaf on the ground, and her shoulders lose the tension that had built up. She reaches over and takes the cup, sniffing it, “Mmm peppermint is my favorite.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” You search her face for the anger and determination that dominated her eyes when she first yelled out to you, but it’s been replaced with a calm softness that appears to come very easily to her.

“You’re a lot nicer than I’d thought you’d be.”

You stretch your neck and grin. “I certainly try to be. So you can imagine my surprise when I heard you say you wanted to kill me. I don’t know what I did that has earned such enmity.”

The child stopped drinking and just stared into her cup for several long moments. Shadows from the fire began dwindling as the flames turned to coals. A crack. A pop.

“It’s not that. It’s my dad. They wanted to get the dragon he talked about. They took him. He… “ she rubbed her eyes again. ‘He told me stories. I thought I could find you, and then maybe they’d give him back. Maybe.” The fiery energy from earlier was now barely smouldering as she looked drained. She closed her eyes but she had no more tears to cry. “I…. I had to do something.”

Her father told her stories of a dragon on top of this mountain. It can’t be… “You’ve done quite a lot, more than you could imagine. It’s taken so much for you to come all this way. Right now it’s time to rest, child.”

“Hmm, yeah… You promised, right? You aren’t going to hurt me? I… can rest?”

“I promise you. Please sleep.”

You watch her drift off into exhausted slumber. You’ll have to thank her for letting her know what happened. 

You turn and walk out to the mouth of the cavern, each step building a rage you’ve not felt in many years.

She’ll be safe to stay here. But it’s time to pay an old friend a visit.

"Dragon, I've come to slay you!" Confused, you look at the unarmored child pointing a wooden sword at you.

[buckysgrace]

now daddy!steve hcs?

OOOOOH interesting thoughts hmmmmm.... thank you for this!!

Also a baby hog. Probably does a lot of cosleeping (ik that's like a no no now but)

He's definitely over prepared. He has read up on books, magazines etc to find out everything he needs to know to prepare for the birth and welcoming of his little baby

Definitely see him being a teen parent idk just fitting in a way

Gives his baby all the love and attention that he never felt like he got <3

Also looooves to show his kids off. He's very very proud of them (and you of course hehe)

Gets up every time the baby cries, even if it's your turn. Also very good at changing diapers he has made a sort of game out of it to see how fast he can do it (and if he can do it without gagging this time lmao)

His babies have to have lots of hair of course, also covered in lil moles like him as they get older hehe

also very cute if they have his big cute head hehe

Robin of course would constantly be complimenting him for managing to make something so cute

Lots of family road trips!! he will turn this car around damn it

I can see him sort of becoming overwhelmed at the first 2-3? like ok yes still big family but lets wait a few years before we start going again lmao

Cries when he gets to cut the umbilical cord hehe. Also very very excited for the skin to skin contact so he can bond with his lil baby

Would sing them them to sleep in the rocking chair. He also ends up passing out but it's fine

Idk why I picture him having fussier babies but I do?? Really struggles and feels awful the first few months until the little baby finally gets settled :)))

Ya know he's searching for matching shoes with his kids too, most definitely lmao

takes them to all sorts of events for holidays and everything else lmaooo just wants them to get the most out of it

also loves to blow raspberries on his babies to get them giggling hehe

Gets his hair pulled a lot by them :/

lots of nose kisses hehe

Loves to play with them but sort of does it in a dangerous way? and not as in the kids getting hurt, as in he's the one accidentally getting beat up by them lmao

His children are definitely huge bundles of bursting energy hehe. Always needing to do something.

His kids are runners lmao. Almost all of them. Y'all look away for a second and they're sprinting smh

and at least one of them is a biter too omg

Is ashamed to admit that he tried to backpack leashes a few times lmaooo but in his defense they were cute!! Only stopped using them because the children liked to run as fast as they could, only to see how far they'd fly when they got yanked back lmao. They thought it was hilarious, you guys did not.

Probably buys a lot of toys for them within the first few years until he realizes that most go to waste?? so then he's more particular and careful about his selections lol

Also I can see him being a lil overbearing at first?? Just very concerned with the first few over keeping hands clean, what they're eating, etc etc. I think he eventually develops a nice balance tho??

Also spends a lot of time making sure they're being safe and healthy (like putting sunscreen on for example or making sure they're staying hydrated) but forgets to do that for himself lmao. Ends up with the nastiest sunburn ever

Definitely curses for the first time in front of them too when one of them accidentally hits his reddened skin

Tries to get interested into everything his kids like so he can be involved too?? Or at least show that he cares??

loooooves to show off on the trampoline too and his kids think it's so cool?? lots of time spent learning how to backflip. and roughhousing omg

Does his best to help them in school as much as possible, but he's definitely panicking the whole time lmao. Love the idea of him trying to teach himself and his child math late at night

Overall he's a very, very good daddy hehe.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Hi, I used to write a lot as a teenager because I thought that I had all the "cool stuff" still to come in life and it was OK for me to just imagine it for now. However, as I got older I found that I couldn't write anymore because the more I tried to be authentic, the more I realised that I had no experience of any of the stuff I was writing about. I wanted to write about someone like me, and I wanted people to want to read it, but I felt like no one would be interested in reading something where there is no "happy ending" or lesson learned. Fast forward a decade and now I have an autism diagnosis and the disconnect from others finally makes sense, but my question is how do I write if I don't know how to fully resolve the problems I'm writing about? I understand that writing doesn't have to be 100% from experience, but I feel that I at least need to be able to imagine the scenario in which a person with similar limitations to me could make it to a satisfactory conclusion. I miss writing but I don't want to solve all my main characters problems by having her meet someone who understands her and then they partner up and hey everything is fine now. Would people be happy to read about the struggles someone has without needing a nice victorious conclusion? Maybe stories like this already exist but I just haven't found them yet, any recommendations? I don't want to wait until I've figured out life, the universe and everything to start writing again since I probably will never get there.

Chuck Tingle (yes, that Chuck Tingle) has written often and openly about having autism. The Autism Books by Autistic Authors Project works on tracking books by autistic authors specifically about autistic characters, and that might be a great place to start. They've got fiction, non-fiction, graphic novels - you name it!

Another thing I think you're struggling with is the opinion of a non-existent reader-base. It's so easy to worry that your stories won't make people happy ahead of time, but you're letting that get in the way of your writing. If you write for yourself, telling the stories you want to tell, there are going to be people out there who will want to read them.

Don't let fear hold you back - there's going to be people who want your work! They can't find you if you don't tell the stories you want to tell, in the way you want to tell them. You can do this!

[dandelionuprising]

I think a fundamental issue is that no direct comparison can be made between the treatments we use for different symptoms. Antidepressants are not adhd meds are not antipsychotics etc etc. I think a lot of movies that show severe mental illness and the effects of medicine, are actually depicting antipsychotics. Which are notorious for being sedating and taking away a lot of your experience, even as they may also take away some of the bad experiences. So as someone who is in the antipsychotics camp of mental health issues, I find that depiction very relatable.

I'm glad OP and others have had a good experience with their meds, but I think it's important to acknowledge that not everyone will have a good experience, and there won't necessarily be a med that will have the desired effect. And that people who don't have a good experience with medication don't necessarily have to keep trying, it's not necessarily the case that the right med is just around the corner. It's ok to be done with psychiatric medicine. It's ok to not want to risk it at all. Psychiatric medicine is far from being an exact science, and it's extremely hit and miss whether it helps. And for a bunch of people, it ends up doing more harm than good.

Depression or adhd or psychosis etc obviously have a basis in the physical realm, arising from biological as well as psychological and social factors, but we don't have a clear understanding of how exactly, and the medication we use to treat them don't pinpoint target the issue. Rather, they are psychoactive drugs with effects that sometimes, but not always, alleviate the distressing symptoms of various psychiatric disorders.

No one gets to define who the "real you" is. You're real with or without the influence of medication, you just have to decide which version you like being the most. I did like what adhd medication did for me personally, but I've also quit, because the withdrawal is intense in terms of making me completely unable to do anything, and I'm not very good at taking meds consistently, so it caused way more highs and lows in functionality than what I was comfortable with. Two of my partners take ADHD meds religiously, and for at least one of them, it's been life-saving. I also know a person who lost 5 years to adhd medication. It completely changed their personality from a quirky, loving nb pal, to functional but distant dude completely out of touch with "his"(?) emotions. They can barely remember those years, and the mother of their children broke up with them during those years because there was just zero emotional availability (they're back together now). Which is just to say that even a generally well loved and effective medication like central stimulants for adhd can have horrible side effects for some people.

Meanwhile antipsychotics are objectively a really heavy hitting form of medication that (more or less subtly) works by sedating your brain so you have less ability to have weird ass thoughts and experiences. I have found that for me, a baby dose way below the suggested amount for treating schizophrenia/psychosis helps me cope and feel better. But when I was on the lowest recommended dose to treat my diagnosis, I completely lost my spark. I slept 15+ hours a day and spent most of my time listlessly lying on the floor or sofa, staring at the ceiling. Several of my close friends have lost years of their life to antipsychotics. And it's really important to acknowledge these types of experiences, while also acknowledging that medicine can be great sometimes.

The two experiences can coexist. And it's important to acknowledge that these are heavy hitting drugs with a lot of potential consequences (all of them, but some more often than others), and to let everyone make their own decisions about what they want to try and what they want to keep taking. One person choosing not to medicate themselves is not an attack on another who chooses to do so, or vice versa.

90s movies: Psychopharmacology is as good as a lobotomy. If you take pills to treat your mental illness it will literally murder your imaginary friends and you will become a boring, lotus-eating conformist drone.

Me after taking my meds: drives the scenic route home to see if there are any geese on the pond and does a little dance in line at the grocery store and comes home to throw everything​ in my fridge into a stew pot because I can finally taste food again while singing songs at my birds in which I replace all the instances of "she" with "Cheese" and doing a Dolly Parton impression on the phone to my sister

[lukolastrong]

These anons are too much. Ok, you believe that Luke and Antonia are together and you have accepted that. Or that Nic and Jake are together. Great for you! But what does that have to do with us? We don’t believe that and you coming here, to a LUKOLA SHIPPING BLOG, to tell us that we should just accept that is wild! Just as you have every right to believe he is with A, we are also still entitled to our opinions. The vast majority of Lukola shippers stick to their little corner of the internet sharing thoughts and opinions with each other. We aren’t sending hate to L, N, A, or J. And if at the end of the day we are wrong about everything, then so what? It doesn’t directly impact us in any way whatsoever. But we still have the right to ship Nic and Luke, as long as we are respectful about it.

I am starting to think the issue with these anons trying to push L/A and N/J might be that they still really want to believe in N and L too, but they are too afraid to be disappointed if it turns out they are wrong. So they come to Lukola blogs to try to shame everyone for not “seeing” things as they do, but only so that the blogger and their followers can reinforce why we believe they are together. It gives them hope even when what they are saying is the total opposite. If that makes any sense at all. I mean, if they are so certain in their belief about L/A and/or N/J, then they wouldn’t be worried about what we think. Just like those of that believe that Nic and Luke are together aren’t worried about what they think.

And I am not saying we should all believe exactly the same things because then it simply becomes an echo chamber. I appreciate that you don’t block/delete the people that think differently and are voicing their thoughts and opinions in a meaningful way on your blog. Because some will block you immediately if you don’t fall in line with everything they say. It’s good to have an open discussion, especially when we don’t agree. It gives us a whole new perspective. But these anons say the exact same thing over and over and think that by being condescending, they will change people’s minds.

I think Nic and Luke are together, but understanding full and well that I could be wrong, but I am also not going to anyone’s blogs trying to force my opinions as facts onto anyone that believes differently.

I’m so sorry for the rant, but it’s frustrating for these anons to continuously send in these same old tired asks. My kudos to you and Bianca because you guys handle these anons phenomenally, even though I am sure it can get so stressful. 😩🫠

Don’t apologize, I love to read rants and hear what others are thinking.

I agree! Why come into our peaceful space and try to convince of these things? It’s so tiresome. It’s clearly not going to work so just march on back to where you came from. I feel like that too. Also I feel like most of them are likely scared Lukola shippers who are afraid that if we’re wrong they’ll look dumb so by pretending to be another shipper they’ll have that to fall back on and say “see told you so”.

Yeah it’s nice to have different opinions and perspectives that can bounce off each other. Of course♥️ I hope I’ve created a safe space for opinions while also fostering my ideas. I’ve heard of those blogs and it’s not a good place to go. At the end of the day shipping is suppose to be fun and light hearted. It’s all speculative anyway as we don’t know these two irl. I love to read the comments under my posts as everyone has different ideas and thoughts but they all lead to the same result.. Lukola 🥹

“I think Nic and Luke are together, but understanding full and well that I could be wrong, but I am also not going to anyone’s blogs trying to force my opinions as facts onto anyone that believes differently.” 💯 I love this.

Thank you 🙇🏼‍♀️ it does get that way sometimes but I end up deleting a lot of the asks because they’re all the same.

[in-som-niyah]

I've been binging your posts lately and I adore the way you potray Jason, makes me physically emotionally and spiritually weak

I'd like to see Jason with reader who has avoidant attachment issues if it's okay with you. 😔

a/n: ok so what you're saying is you want me to spill my guts on here??????? alr fine im a woman of the ppl ig *sigh*

Jason todd x Avoidant!Reader Hcs

ok so this is complicated to even conceptualize how the both of you got into a relationship because both of you have the same attachment style..... kinda like magnets of the same pole...do not attract and actually repel eachother...so...

BUT let's just say you do get together, the relationship is very smooth at first, but conflict rarely happens since you both just exist in eachother's space for a while, getting used to the arrangement

There would be lots of wordless ways of saying that you care about eachother, acts of service, silent quality time, sometimes physical touch but never PDA, you both don't feel like being all over eachother in public is ever appropriate

conflict would literally just mean that you guys don't talk for an extended period of time and then come back into regular communication when things cool off and both of you can think clearly,

I also see a lot of unspoken insecurity popping up because of this lack of meaningful conversation; both of you will be soooo hellbent on dealing with your own problems yourself that you forget that there's another person waiting just for you <3

BUT BUT BUT the cutest thing is when you do cute stuff without having to ask or without having to say anything

Hair in your face? Jason is grabbing a thick hair tie to tie back your braids

Tight shoulders? Your hands are in his hair the moment you see his shoulder blades roll uncomfortably

Untied shoe? (MY FUCKING FAVOURITE) Jason is pausing his walk and asking to hold your foot between his thighs to tie it for you

Also from a technical standpoint i think both of you find it easier to just do and not talk about it so much because of how emotionally exhausting it is do organize coherent thoughts and have an actual healthy discussion, both when something is wrong and when you just don't feel like talking

I also think that both of you always end up finding your ways back to eachother no matter what, and I think that's beautiful <3

[witchygagirlwrites]

Wildflower-Part 3

Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Wildflower)

You and Jay start to find your way back to each other. Can it work?

Warnings: Hailey is a bitter ex

“So you’ve seen him and all that?” you could tell Violet and Sylvie both were wanting to ask so much more but weren’t wanting to pry into your personal life too much. You shrugged “He was my best friend for years, yeah we drifted after Mouse died and he left but I think it would’ve been weirder for him to be in Chicago and not see me on his own accord wouldn’t it?”

Sylvie tilted her head with a small smile “Did he meet Leah?” you nodded “Yeah, you know I’m not hiding my babygirl from anyone” Violet grinned “Our babygirl. The only reason you’re the only one on her birth certificate is because there isn’t enough lines for all of us” you laughed and bumped your arm into hers “Oh I know ma’am”

You were currently held up in the Lieutenant's quarters with the two of them and Stella. Kelly was in a meeting with Matt and Chief Boden. Stella nodded slowly “What did he say?” you shrugged “That she’s beautiful, that she looks like me” Stella grinned “We already knew that. So you two are friends again?” you nodded “Yeah, I mean I think so?” you knew if there was any hope of you being around and about with Jay and it not being weird that fifty one had to know about it. As bad as a part of you wished he’d just forget you and her both existed the other part of you knew he wouldn’t.

Stella nodded “As long as he’s ok with Leah and treats you like he used to before I’m good with but if he hurts your feelings or anything I won’t even need Kelly to kick his ass” “I second that” Violet added and Sylvie laughed “I’ll just go their bond”

You shook your head with a laugh “Nice to know that Leah’s second godmother at least won’t be locked up” She grinned “Someone has to stay out” Violet shrugged “I’ll send Sam to pick up Shay from school at least” “Thank you” Stella told her with a laugh. Shay was Stella and Kelly’s daughter. They’d adopted her at five. She was absolutely adorable.

“Well since we have a gameplan on who’s killing Jay and who’s picking the kids up, let's get back to work because Kelly is heading this way and technically he is my boss” you cut your eyes up and he grinned when he realized he had your attention. Stella shook her head “Please, I’m his boss. You’re good but just for the record if Hailey even looks your way because Jay’s hanging out with you I will knock her ass out detective or not” you shook your head “I love you Stella Kidd” she grinned “I love you too my Wildflower”

You were curled up on the couch with Leah in your lap watching some new marvel movie on disney plus. Bucky was in it and that was your only qualification to watch it. She started to fuss and you looked at the time. Yeah she was getting ready to bed down so she’d need a bottle before going to sleep. 

You stood up, putting her on your hip as you headed to the kitchen but stopped when your phone rang. You grabbed it on the way and saw Jay’s name “Hello?” you answered and he laughed lightly “Any way you might want some company?” you looked down where you were currently wearing a white t-shirt and pink puffy sleep pants. Fuck it, he’d seen you in worse…and less considering. “Yeah, sure” “Good because I bought chinese and I’m at your door” you groaned and looked down at Leah who was currently nuzzling into your shoulder “Were you that certain I’d let you in?”

You walked over to the door and unlocked it. You swung it open and he stood there with the phone still at his ear and smiled “I hoped so. I got off earlier than I thought because the governors meeting was wrapped a lot faster” you nodded and stepped back “Come on then, I gotta get her bottle”

He walked in behind you, closing the door and followed you into the kitchen “Can I help?” he asked after he sat the bags of chinese food down on your counter. His eyes were glued to Leah and you sighed “Jay, use your words buddy” his eyes flicked up towards yours and he smiled “Can I hold her?” you nodded “Of course” he gently took her from your arms and she started cooing and babbling as he talked to her. You watched them for a moment then turned to get her bottle fixed.

She was just beginning to get food added to her diet. Jay was walking around the living room with her when you turned around and you smiled “You’re not tired?” he shrugged “You bust your back at the firehouse all day and do it. I can manage” you shook your head “Here, she needs her bottle so she can start to bed down”

He passed her back so you walked over to the couch “Want to finish this movie with me then we can eat after she goes down?” he nodded “Sure”

He followed you over and you turned, getting comfortable with her in your lap again and he smirked slightly “What?” you asked and he raised an eyebrow “Me, you and her on the couch” you shook your head “Full circle moment huh?” he grinned then motioned “Well you’re stretched out, where should I go?” you shifted your legs further back, giving him just enough room to lay across the couch with you. He kicked his shoes off and laid across the couch, his head on your thigh and Leah’s little hand reached out for him. He froze when he felt her and your heart flipped. This was a little too intimate but it wasn’t like you could move now. You were stuck in this position until she went to sleep now.

____________________

Once Leah was out cold, you slowly slid off the couch to go lay her in her crib so Jay headed for the kitchen to lay out the food. He was trying to ignore just how much his heart was aching. It felt so damn right just laying across the couch with you and her. He hadn’t even known she existed when he chose to not renew his contract. You were the reason he came home. Now he was so damn happy he had because he managed to make it home while she was still little. She was just a couple months old, she could know him. 

He just wished he could do something to get you to open up a little to him. You’d let him take you and her to breakfast and had even let Will meet her officially. You were trying and he got that this was hard for you. You’d already laid your life and hers out in front of you. After Mouse you truly hadn’t expected him to come home. He just wished you’d stop saying things like you wanted him to not “ruin his life” by claiming Leah and you. He could give a damn less what anyone said.

He knew what he wanted his future to hold and if he was being honest? This was the best insight into it he’d had. He didn’t want anything other than a life with his girls.

“Jay?” you spoke behind him and he turned to see you standing there with a smile “Yeah?” you waved a hand towards the food “Did it offend you? You were staring it down” he grinned “Naw sweetheart, just thinking” you smirked “Oh, thank god. I thought the food smelled burnt”

He shook his head with a laugh but hearing you tease him like that? It meant your friendship was healing, it meant the two of you were still something to each other. “Yeah wouldn’t want to hurt myself huh?” you grinned and walked over to him, your hand against his lower back as you leaned up over his shoulder to look at the selection “So, did you remember my favorites?”

He cut his eyes at you “Did you think I’d forget?” you smiled “Nope” and grabbed two plates before holding him one out.

______________________

You were sitting on one side of the couch and Jay was sitting on the other. “You know that street fair thing you’ve always liked?” he asked and you nodded “I remember it” he smiled “Well I’m off that saturday, are you?”

You chewed on your bottom lip for a second as you thought about your schedule “Yeah as a matter of fact I’m on a two day off stretch, why?” he shrugged “It’s Leah’s first year. I thought we could take her together” your eyes widened “Jay..” but he cut you off “Not like that Flower, I thought it over here. You’ll be going with your girls right?” you nodded “I’m sure Stella, Sylvie and Vi will be there or at least one of them”

He shrugged “I could go with Will or Kev and just run into you two then if it’s just you were already there you technically didn’t go with me” “Are you really just thinking up ways to be around and about with me and her?” he looked down at his food and shoved it around with his chopsticks before saying “I missed you so much. Every damn day over there, you were all I thought about. Every letter you didn’t respond to, every email. When your number changed. I thought I lost you. That was why I chose not to extend my contract, why I took the private security gig. I had to get my ass home to Chicago to see if you were ok, see if you’d still smile at me like you used to, if you still cared about me”

You leaned up to cover his hand with yours and he stopped fidgeting then slowly raised his eyes to yours “I never meant to worry you Jay. It’s just when that pregnancy test came back positive..I didn’t know what to do, I was scared”

“Of me?” he asked and you shook your head “Never, I was scared of hurting you. What if what happened between us was just a mistake to you, what if she was a mistake to you?” he sat his plate down on the coffee table then reached for yours and sat it down next to his before taking your hands in his “Look at me when I say this flower” you raised your eyes to his and he smiled “What happened between us was so far from a mistake.You keep saying you don’t want to ruin my future but sweetheart that night made me a future. That little girl is perfect. There’s no other word for her”

You were trying not to tear up “I just want you to be happy Jay. You shouldn’t be stuck with me because we were both falling apart and clung to each other” “Was that what it was for you?” he asked and you shook your head “I don’t want to talk about that night right now, please” he nodded slowly “Ok but just know it meant something to me, something good. As far as being stuck with you? How many times do I have to tell you, you are my best friend. You’ve been my best friend for years. No one knows me like you do, I wouldn’t want anyone else to know me like you do. I’m not pushing for you to tell people I’m her father, I won’t do that to you but I want you back as my other half, my best friend, the person that if you see me you see you. I miss that, it doesn’t feel right”

You smiled “How about I just meet you at the street fair with her?” a broad smile slipped onto his face “What?” you nodded “I’ll meet you at the street fair with her. Then it’s just I was out with my daughter, ran into my best friend who then chose to spend the day with us” he started to pull you into a hug but froze until you sighed “You can hug me Jay” he grinned and damn near snatched you across the couch into his lap. You laughed when you landed against his chest,snuggling into the bend of his neck and he wrapped both arms around you “See, this? This feels right” you shook your head “You’re ridiculous Jay” he pressed a kiss to your forehead “And yet you’ve always let me in your life”

You lifted your head and raised an eyebrow “Leah is proof I let you in more than that” and was rewarded with a light blush gracing his cheeks “And you call me the ridiculous one” 

You were trying to decide just what to wear to the street fair when Stella texted you So, we’re meeting at the petting zoo right? You laughed and texted back Yes ma’am, is Sylvie and Vi coming too? She replied Not sure about Sylvie but Vi is supposed to come. I heard her threatening Carver about it That sounded like Violet Sounds good to me. See you ladies there. 

Once you decided on just sneakers, jeans and a long sleeve shirt you got dressed then headed to Leah’s room. She was babbling and currently playing with her feet. “That’s just lovely baby” you laughed and she cooed when she realized you were in the room.

Once you got her dressed and her diaper bag fixed you sent Jay a text Leaving for the street fair then headed for your truck. By the time you got her buckled in and slid into the driver’s seat he’d texted back I’ll meet you there 

______________________

You were standing with Stella, Kelly and Shay. Violet and Sam were currently playing a game at one of the booths with the goal of winning stuffed dalmatians for both of the girls. Violet wouldn’t give up until she won. Kelly had Shay on his shoulders and she was laughing “Daddy, I want cotton candy” Kelly cut his eyes at Stella who sighed “Get her a hotdog at least too” he grinned and walked off.

You laughed “He’s adorable with her. You two are amazing parents” she smiled “You’re pretty amazing yourself there flower” you grinned “Thank you honey” she whistled and nodded “Lookie what the cat dragged in” you followed her line of sight to see Jay walking towards the two of you talking to Will and Nat who were walking with Owen. 

“Hey Halsteads and Mannings” you greeted and they all smiled. Once they got to you and Stella everyone traded pleasantries. Nat played with Leah a bit as Stella talked to Jay and Will. In the meantime Kelly came back with Shay. 

Jay smiled “And who is this?” Kelly looked so proud as he said “This is mine and Stella’s daughter. Shay Severide” Jay cut his eyes at you and he looked a little sad. You knew it was not being able to claim Leah like that in public. “Congrats you two and nice to meet you Ms Shay” he told her and she laughed “Nice to meet you” 

“Jay, we’re bout to go” Will said and Jay nodded then looked back at you “Can I tag along with your bunch?” you shrugged and looked at Stella and Kelly who shrugged “Why not?” Will nodded “Ok. Nice to see you again Flower” 

You watched Will walk off then before you could say anything to Jay Violet came running up with a grin carrying two hot pink stuffed dalmatians with Sam walking behind her shaking his head but he was wearing a grin. She looked at Jay and raised an eyebrow “Hey Halstead” the held up the stuffed animals “I won Leah and Shay one” “It only cost twenty bucks” Sam added and she looked back at him “Hush!” before handing you Leah’s and Stella Shay’s. 

You grinned and showed Leah “Look what auntie Vi got you” she pulled at the stuffy and Violet grinned. Shay named hers strawberry. Violet was beaming when she looked at Sam “Worth the twenty?” Sam nodded “Yes it was” and all of you laughed. You waved a hand towards Sam “Jay, Sam Carver. Sam this is Jay Halstead, an old friend of mine”

“Hey” Sam greeted with a nod. You fell in step with Stella as all of you headed for the face painting area because that’s what Shay wanted. You could feel Jay at your side.You cut your eyes at him and he smiled as he walked. He was actually enjoying just something this simple. 

_____________________

Violet and Sam had already left, they had a dinner reservation then it was Kelly and Stella next because Stella’s cousin was in town and wanted to see Shay. Once it was just you and Jay he looked at you “I could carry her”

You held her out “Knock yourself out” you and him were walking back to your truck. He took her and a broad smile slipped onto his face as soon as she was in his arms “Hey sweet girl” you reached up to run a hand down her back. “Have fun today?” “I think she did” he replied and you laughed “Good but I was asking you” 

He laughed “Oh, yeah. I got to be in public with you and her. I got to be with you and your friends. It felt almost..” he trailed off then said “It felt good” you smiled “I’m glad. I enjoyed it too” 

You watched him with her and pulled your phone out to snap a quick picture and he grinned “Can you send me that?” you nodded “I also have a couple I’ve snuck, if you want them?” he nodded “Please” you grinned and sent them to his phone, hearing it chime. He smiled “Thank you”

You’d taken one the day he met her. He still had his uniform on and she looked tiny in that pink onesie lost in the sea of tan he was wearing. He buckled her into her car seat then turned to face you where you were standing behind him “So, can I come over?” you shook your head “You don’t want to do anything else?” he shook his head “I want to come see you and her” you shrugged “If you want, you know where I am” he smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to your cheek “I’ll be over soon”

How the hell had you gone from a few months ago thinking Jay would never lay eyes on Leah to now he’d do his best to not go over a day without laying his eyes on her? The longest he went was when you were on shift.

You were laying across the floor with Leah on her tummy time blanket, your feet were propped up on the couch while she played. You heard a knock at the door and knew it was Jay. You grabbed your phone and hit his number. “Hello?” he answered so you asked “That you at my door?” “Yeah?” he replied so you laughed “Come on in”

He hung up then opened the door and tilted his head to the side “What are you doing beautiful?” you pointed at Leah “Tummy time” he grinned and kicked his shoes off “Then I’m just in time” he put the food he’d gotten on the counter then came over to lay across the floor on the other side of her. He smiled over at you, “I’m glad I came to see you before I left”

You laughed lightly “So am I Jay” you both got quiet, watching her play. This was becoming a usual occurrence. Hell your friendship was back as strong as it ever was. You loved Jay, even if it was so much more than  you should. He was so proud to be Leah’s father and that warmed your heart. All he wanted was to claim her in public but fuck you were still afraid. You’d spotted Hailey from a far a handful of times and the glare she gave you? Nothing good was going to come out of that.

“Where did you go Flower?” he asked and you smiled “I’m here. Just thinking a little too much” he shook his head “Then stop it, your face fell and I don’t like it” you laughed “Well excuse me sir” 

You’d never meant for that night to happen but you were glad it did. Jay had always owned a piece of your heart, that night just gave him a bigger piece and had formed something beautiful. She was currently gnawing on her dalmatian toy.  You couldn’t see Jay like that because he didn’t see you like that. He loved Leah, that much you were certain and that was good enough for you.

_______________________

Leah was long asleep and you were laying backwards across Jay’s chest watching a movie or you had been watching a movie. He was fairly certain you were asleep. He tilted his head around to look and saw he was right. You were turned just enough to curl into his chest and his heart ached. This was what he wanted. Why couldn’t he just have the chance to tell all of Chicago that then he wouldn’t have had to deal with the issues like at the coffee shop the day before,

Jay was in line to grab everyone’s order from his office. He wasn’t paying attention because he was thinking about the last day he’d spent with you and his baby girl. He heard someone call his name and glanced back to see Hailey two people back and felt his heart drop. “Hey Hailey” he greeted. You’d been pushing him to talk to her anyways.

He motioned in front of him so she slid in the line then turned to face him “Why haven’t you come to see me yet?” he shrugged “We divorced before I left Hails. Didn’t figure you’d want to see me” she nodded “I get why that happened Jay. The stress from Mouse, our jobs. I forgive you” “Thanks?” he told her and she put one hand on his chest “We could try again? Have a real chance” he shook his head “No, I don’t think so” her face hardened “Is this because of Wildflower? You know she went home with a different guy every night the first month after you left. She’s not this big sweetheart like you act like she is”

“That doesn’t sound like her and oh well if she did” he argued and she scoffed “She was always in the middle of our marriage” “She’s my best friend. She was always supportive” he told her and she shook her head “Maybe if she would’ve left us the hell alone we could’ve made it work” “Ok Hailey, turn around and order your coffee” she rolled her eyes “I know she’s had you out and around with that baby. I could give you one that actually belongs to you, remember that” then passed him a card with her number before grabbing her coffee and leaving the shop.

He hadn’t told you. You would push him away. He knew you would. You’d argued from the start that he needed to try to get her back or move on with someone else. You couldn’t see the fact that you and Leah were his heart, his entire heart. He shifted just enough he could lay his head down on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. If this was the only way he could hold you, he’d take it just like if the only way he could be Leah’s daddy was in the four walls of your apartment he’d take it. He’d be patient and prove to you that he wanted you, wanted Leah. When he thought about his future? It was with his girls, only his girls.

@desimarie12

@allisonargent144

@nevaehstreater18

[cannedbabs]

Taking $1 Turbo Sketch Comms! (And more!)

((Please read below!))

Hello lovelies! I have gotten a tad tight w money and I’m looking to do adult things like move out and the like and thought I’d do something here about it :] and that’s Turbo sketch commissions!

DETAILS:

* They will be Fullbody sketches! Optionally colored like the above image or like the below images

* Once I’ve gotten a decent amount they’ll be compiled into a sketch page to post!!

* Other characters also allowed, please keep reading to find out about those!

* If you Comm you MUST be ok with messy lines and guidelines. I’ll try to make it as nice as I can, though!

* I take PayPal / Venmo / Cashapp! I even have a Kofi if that’s easier! Just PM me if interested :]

* Also pls nothing NSFW or fetish-y. I’ll turn you down immediately.

For $1 it will be Turbo OR King Candy in any sort of pose, expression, etc you like. Small props (like the spray paint can, a trophy, etc.) allowed at no extra cost!

If you want to add an extra character FROM WRECK-IT RALPH (or Ralph breaks the internet) it will be just another $1! If you want to upgrade it to King Candy/Turbo Bug he will be $3 (sorry he’s just hard to draw!)

If you have a WIR OC and want them, it’ll be $5! But keep an eye out I’m going to be making some WIR inspired YCH’s for cheap soon… ((if you’ve read this far give me suggestions on characters you’d like to see for that!))

If you don’t want Turbo/KC at all just let me know and I’ll most likely haggle! I just enjoy drawing him the most, hence it being $1.

If you’d rather just want a sketch comm from me, those are $5! Doesn’t have to be WIR related :] example below

I talk a LOT and probably some stuff didn’t make sense. Feel free to ask for clarification :] Any reblogs help also!!

All this stuff is listed on my Trello! It also has my TOS so I encourage looking there!

[ryusuisloveinterest]

hey girl!! it's been a while,

I've been having massive stanley brainrot, so may I request Stanley x Reader where reader is one of the scientists in the DARPA expo and was also one of the ones who revived by themselves. Reader and Xeno are like close colleagues and Stanley falls for reader??

Also, how do u feel abt dr stone season 4 coming out next year?! I'm sooo excited honestly!!

I’m so this took so long!!!! I’m loving season 4 so far and Stanley is cooking every time he’s on screen😩 I hope you like it and thank you for your patience bestie💕💕💕💕

Stanley x DARPA scientist reader💝

You’ve worked with Xeno countless times, on different assignments, experiments, and whatever else people at NASA do

Though it still took awhile for you to meet Stanley

I believe Xeno would keep his personal life to himself, keeping the line between his life and work very bolded

But one day he invited you to his house to work on some thing together or because he’s let you cross that line 

You both chat for a while with some tea and treats when some grumpyass soldier barges through the front door 

“Guess what they’re doin now Xeno??? They’re cutting down spending for my branch!! Not only that but my men are leaving left and right! That’s some utter bull-“ 

Stanley pauses when he sees you, his eyes in complete awe at the sight of you 

“Oh um pardon me…” he reaches his hand out for a handshake, “Lieutenant Stanley Snyder, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I apologize for that outburst.”

You giggle and introduce yourself as well, “it’s ok Lieutenant Snyder, the government doesn’t treat us that nicely at NASA either”

“Please, just call me Stanley”

Xeno gets the vibe REAL QUICK

He’ll quickly say something like, “oh I need to use the restroom,” or “I’ll go prepare more tea” and just leaves you with Stanley 

After that you’ll see Stanley appear around the office more and more

“Oh sorry y/n I didn’t mean to bug you. Xeno’s office is right around the corner so I thought I’d come say hi”

Xeno’s office is halfway across the building💀

That brings us to the DARPA meeting

Everyone’s discussing the birds and stone and idk what else they talked about lol

But a small break is held

Stanley gives you a drink while you two talk about random things

“Say y/n, maybe after all this shit is over, me and you can go have a little drink together, my treat. What do you think?”

“You better be the one paying, since you’re asking me out~”

A smile breaks out of the soldier

BUT THEN A MYSTERIOUS BIG GREEN LIGHT POPS OUT OF NOWHERE AND EVERYONE GETS TURNED TO STONE😛

3700 years pass when you’re randomly awakened 

You walk around and immediately get a gun to your back

Without fear, you giggle and say, “is this your idea of a first date Stanley?”

His cool helmet falls off and you see the man you’ve waited 3700 years for

He kisses your forehead

“I’ll be sure to make it up to you with much better dates doll~”

You two waste no time in starting to date

Ofc Xeno still need a help working to rebuild, so during the day everyone focuses on working and rebuilding the modern world 

But as soon as the day’s over or works all done, yours his and his ONLY

Like I’m talking bodies constantly touching (whether it’s hand holding, sitting on his lap, cuddling, other things👀)

Always talking to each other, whether it’s deep or not is up to you two

Tries to take you on whatever dates you can in the stone world (dinners, stargazing, crafts, etc.)

While he might cut Xeno off on some of his science rants, but he’d never do that to you 

“Sorry if I’m talking a lot Stanley, I’ll stop it you-“

“No I like your voice, way better than Xeno’s.”

Overall 1000/10 would recommend 

[puppysuke]

hi hi hi hi hi hi hello howdy <333 I never send in asks (or interact with anyone on Tumblr for that matter) but I just AAAHHH I love your headcanons!! I think Daisuke x reader headcanons pre-relationship would be so cute... Like the confession and the mutual pining and everything omg. You don't have to do it at all, if you did that would be fantastic but no worries, um okay bye 😍😍

eats a brick and leaves on a fly ride adopt me unicorn

i am honored that you asked me for this! hopefully you like this a lot. i'll just do hc since thats what you asked, BUT if you want to req a oneshot based on this, i would love that tons and tons. i'd be happy to write that! also don't eat bricks, ok, not good for you silly. all sfw! can be read after the events of mouthwashing or a different au! if you'd like something like this in mouthwashing au, like in the tulpar and stuff, i'll write that too :3 but i guess this can be read like that too for the most part. thank you, anon, let me get you a nice muffin or something you'd like. continue reading under the cut! art by ImaHealthHazard on pinterest!

🌺 --- daisuke didn't exactly expect to fall in love with you. he really just thought you were a really good friend! 🌺 --- that was until you brought him a brownie that you had gotten from the store, knowing he had a huge sweet tooth. 🌺 --- when you gave him the brownie, he KNEW he was in love. he had tried to deny it to himself, but he couldn't anymore. 🌺 --- he didn't realize that you felt the same way for him. he thought you were just trying to be a good friend.

🌺 ---he felt like a TOTAL creep for liking you. he caught himself staring at you or daydreaming about you.

🌺 --- you were super obvious about liking him too, he just didn't realize that.

🌺 --- like the time you told him you wish you had a boyfriend like him? yeah, he thought he was just deluding himself into thinking you meant anything by it.

🌺 --- he tried to not be obvious about his feelings. he felt very guilty about it! so i tried to hide it. but he wasn't very good at it.

🌺 --- mutual friends of yours said things like "just date already!" and "so when are you guys getting together?"

🌺 --- and daisuke would panic and be like "ew why would i wanna date them???"

🌺 --- it hurt you a bit, but you didn't show it! you just went along with it.

🌺 --- you guys both were talking to your mutual friends about liking each other, so they all knew about it!

🌺 --- everyone knew but you and daisuke. even his mom had called you his girlfriend a few times...

🌺 --- you guys pined over each other for MONTHS. you fell first, but he fell WAY harder.

🌺 --- finally, the guilt got to daisuke and he decided to confess. he mainly just expected you to reject him and he figured that'd help him move on.

🌺 --- he came to you a sobbing mess after having a drink or two. he had walked to your house at 2 in the morning.

🌺 --- you let him in and sat with him, trying to comfort him, but he refused to tell you what was wrong for a good while.

🌺 --- after he finally got a hold on himself and stopped crying, he got a few words out.

🌺 --- "i need to tell you that i-" daisuke sniffled and there he went crying again.

🌺 --- you frowned and coaxed the answer out of him. "i like you! so much and i feel so bad, i'm so sorry!"

🌺 --- you just stared at him for a minute and let out a little laughed, ruffling his hair. he stared at you with big eyes and his bottom lip jutted out in a pout.

🌺 --- you very quickly told him you liked him too. he then proceeded to go on and on about how he meant he was in love with you kinda like.

🌺 --- you had to assure him you understood and felt the same. he kinda felt stupid after that.

🌺 --- "oh." daisuke wiped his tears and cleared his throat. "well! this is embarrasing."

🌺 --- needless to say, you got together not to long after that.

🌺 --- your friend group was very relieved they didn't have to listen to you two go on and on to them about eachother.

🌺 ---till they realized they needed to see you two being way too lovey dovey infront of them.

🌺 --- "wait, daisuke came to you crying?" swansea asked, sure to tease him about that for a while.

🌺 --- daisuke would brush it off and claim it made him more 'desirable' and protest he was just in tune with him feminine side!

🌺 --- also i just wanted to add this man makes you playlists 24/7. like you don't even get a chance to listen to your music because he is constantly making you playlists, it's his love language. so naturally your taste in music morphs into his.

i hope you enjoyed! if you liked this and have anything you'd like me to write from this fandom, or any other fandoms listen in my intro post, my requests are open! just ask me in my inbox and i'll write / make hc for you <3 thank you for reading!

[rizzoreads88]

Elriels are funny. We've been in Azriel's head. One time and know exactly what he's thinking. He is attracted to Elain... but that's all. Their story would never be about choosing love over a bond because Azriel's only motive to go after her is because he believes she should be his mate. His brothers are mated to her sisters, so, in his mind, it's only natural he should be mated to Elain. Even if they ended up together somehow, Azriel's fixation with the bond would not fade, because it's already there when he thinks of the middle Archeron sister. The moment Azriel found his mate would also be the moment he left Elain. And that mate will be Gwyn. He will leave Elain the moment the bond snaps for him and Gwyn.

Are you a romance reader? Like I’m genuinely asking anon if you read romance books a lot? Because in 90% of romance books the love interests don’t confess any sort of feelings for a while into their love story.Romantic pairings in romance books usually start out w lust. (Especially in sjms books)The author shows the reader that the MC’s are into each other by the way the characters act, by their actions toward each other and then once the story gets going we get the love confessions. We haven’t even had Azriel or Elains story yet.

We have been n Azriels pov for one singular bonus chapter. Of course we’re not going to get any sort of love confessions in a bonus chapter. Remember Cassian & Nestas bonus chapter from Acomaf? When we were in cassians pov was he thinking about how much he loved or deeply cared for Nesta? NO LOL he was thinking about how badly he wanted her. His physical attraction to her… they had a almost kiss that didn’t happen in that bonus chapter as well. HMM SOUND FAMILIAR?!?!

But I’ll play along….

So Azriel and Elain get to know each other slowly over two years and then start to like each other… he spends time alone with her in the garden and on Soltice in acofas past 3am never once makes a move on her just hangs and talks w her…. And you think this man doesnt have deeper feelings then lust?

Azriel was the first to notice she was taken in acowar and was full of rage and was willing to die to get her back, then when he gets her back he’s bleeding out and won’t even get looked at until he knows she’s ok…And you think this man doesnt have deeper feelings then lust?

In azriels bonus chapter we learn He can’t sleep because he’s thinking about Elain so much, he saved her Soltice gift put it on his nightstand and looks at it everyday for a year, his razor sharp thoughts go quiet around her, he has a physical reaction to eluciens mating bond, he can read her without his shadows, he questions the cauldron over Elain… not finding a mate… but over Elain…And you think this man doesnt have deeper feelings then lust?

You guys take the one sentence where he says he hasn’t planned farther then his fantasies to mean he only lusts for her!!! Which doesn’t even mean that. It means he hasn’t made any plans for elain bc she has a mate. She is off limits to him. Rhysand reinforces this in the bonus chapter. We know he thinks more about her. He’s losing sleep because that’s how much he’s thinking about her and upset because he can’t do anything about it…. And you think this man doesnt have deeper feelings then lust?

If Azriel did any one of these things for Gwyn yall would never stop saying he was in love w her. I mean you guys take him smiling at her when she cut the ribbon in training as him being into her so please be so for real right now. Yall know Azriel is into Elain much deeper than lust.

Azriel is not fixated on a mate bond. He is into Elain who already has a mate lol… if he was going after elain because he’s just fixated on the mate bond why would he be going after someone who already has a mate? That makes no sense whatsoever

“The moment he found his mate he would leave elain and that mate is gwyn” Ok I’m not sure if you realized you even said this but like wowza…. You know he met Gwyn first right? Hes been around Gwyn longer… yet he still is into Elain not Gwyn. Even after his acosf Soltice moment w Gwyn your sides fav moment “spark and glow!!!!!” 3 days later he is around Gwyn again THINKING ABOUT ELAIN 🤣

But you know who Azriel is not thinking about? Gwyn. He lived in the same court as her for over 2 years and never even checked up on her after Sangravah. Then when he starts training w her for months never even thinks about her to get her her own gift. He pawns off the necklace he got for elain which she gave back to Gwyn anon. Meaning if Elain didn’t return it Gwyn woulda got nothing. Then when Gwyn is taken to the blood rite Azriel cares more about Saving Eris then gwyns well being. And even after that when Gwyn goes to the river house after they complete the blood rite azriels in the same damn house and doesn’t even walk over a couple of rooms to make sure she’s ok🫣

Even if you want to convince yourself all Azriel feels for Elain now is lust that’s still not a good point for your ship LOL bc he’s known gwyn longer and been around her more and is not attracted to her like that.

Remember when SJM had rowan lusting after Aelin in her gold nightgown lonnnnggg before they were together or admitted they had feelings for one another? Remember when SJM had hunt drooling over Bryce in her pink dress lonnnng before he admitted his feelings to her or that he even had any? Remember when Casssian was insanely attracted to Nesta in acomaf lonnnnngg before admitted to having any sort of feelings for her? Or what about Dorian and Manon who literally started out just as purely physical attraction and hooking up? So even if you want to try and convince yourself it’s just lust…Azriel being insanely attracted to Elain is still on par w how SJM writes all her endgames.

[buckysgrace]

Can we get some daddy billy hcs!

Absolutely I can!! Where's that picture of Dacre holding the baby?

Certified girl!dad. Idk why I picture him having girls more than boys? Slightly because of his trauma with his dad and then from looking after Max perhaps?

Anyhow the big macho man you know is definitely letting his lil gals paint his nails and put lipstick on him and going all extra with it.

They also looooove his hair? So blonde and curly? They're playing with it all the time (and he does love it).

Very soft with his sons tho? I think mainly because he doesn't want them to feel what he felt so?? But he loves all of his kids the same hehe.

Lots of sports! He will be playing outside with his kids all the time. They will not be rotting inside hehe.

But also fun fun fun movie nights.

he also thinks it's soooo hilarious when his kids start cussing. He's like ok ok you shouldn't say that but.... but it's very funny

has fun nicknames for the bun in the oven (thus where the name Cherry came from hehehe)

Even more funny nicknames as his kids get older?

I also see him purposely having children when he's closer to his mid twenties and early thirties?? accidentally is another story lmao

so in love the first time his lil bby smiles at him ugh he just cannot believe he made something so soft and sweet

Definitely nervous the first time he holds his baby. Cannot believe how tiny they are?? And he's so afraid he's gonna hurt them omg

on being tiny, I do think he produces smaller babies for some reason?? just itty bitty but also chubby??

But also, he is a baby hog. He will be holding his baby for as long as possible. And is at attention whenever someone else is holding them.

I think he also just as a natural touch? Like he just has an easier time to get his kids settled down if they're fussy? A bit of a baby whisperer if you will.

Also lots of sleepless nights just driving his kid around when they're restless.

Takes his turn to change diapers but he's also not jumping on it lmao. Definitely tries to get out of it if he can.

A master at burping the children tho ok. And cleaning up spit up soooooo

thinks it's so funny when babies get milk drunk too

Also so good at swaddling your baby. And then pretends he's going to eat them like a burrito to get them giggling <3

Convinced that his music also helps settle the babies, so he's definitely in the rocking chair jamming out with them.

Loves to kiss his babies toes. He thinks their little feet are just so cute.

Does whatever he can to get the kids to say dada first too lmaoo. he just thinks it's so special

also think he'd ensure that you get your proper breaks?? like yeah yeah just got off of work but ill watch the kids and you go do something nice for a lil break

For their first christmas he pretends to wrap them up in gift wrap like a present and the kids thought it was sooooo hilarious that it has become a routine now

Definitely getting a tattoo for his kids but I cannot decide exactly what?? Something sweet but not too cute ya know. Maybe just their names?? much to think about there

I think as a dad he's very soft with his kids, but also strict at the same time? His patience definitely grew as a father, but he's still stern enough to let them know his expectations?

Lots of fun swimming trips to the beach tho. Teaches them how to swim at an early age and then how to surf of course. Definitely lets his kids bury him in the sand too.

Oh, but he's still smoking lmao. Better about not doing it near them, but he's not giving them up either lmao.

Hope you enjoyed!! I can yap about daddy billy forever soooo lemme know!!

[lessersole]

Wow, that was a lot. Never thought I'd be glad for the bugs Bucky's put in her home, but shit 🥺

The night you came home and found Bucky waiting for you frightened you, but it paled in comparison to the pure terror you felt when Clark crouched over you.

Clark is unhinged - Bucky's messed up, but it's clear that he has lines he won't cross, Clark is so much more terrifying because he's just toxic and can't be reasoned with at all.

Devastated that her day and her home have been ruined like that, and I hope Lois is ok. I kind of feel like Clark went further than Zemo wanted...

And while I trust that Bucky would never have put her in that position, and is good at looking after her, everything about this has been caused by his interest in her 🥺 I was kind of hoping Clark was unrelated to this so Bucky could be more clearly the hero 🙈

Curious how she'll feel about all this tomorrow when it's sunk in more.

Hold You Tight: Part 20

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 19 | Series Masterlist | Part 21

Chapter Word Count: Over 4k

Chapter Summary: Things come to a head when Clark confronts you.

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, break-in, physical assault, threat and fear of sexual assault, choking, fighting, reference to stalking and violence, inner turmoil, angst, comfort, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight and this chapter is a little heavy. Thank you again for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-in-darkness . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

The chilling smile on Clark’s face made you grip your phone tighter. How did he get in, and how long had he been waiting for you? Looking around, you were painfully aware that you were alone in the building lobby with him. Maybe you could head back outside and call Bucky.

Or the police.

“What are you doing here?” you asked again.

“I just wanted to see you.” He removed his glasses and tucked them into his shirt pocket. He stood taller, too. “Is that a problem?”

“If you want to see me, you can stop by the shop. You don't need to come here,” you pointed out. You had one stalker already and didn’t need to deal with another.

“But I’ve been waiting for you,” he said, taking one step closer. “You didn't come home last night, and I thought you’d be back a little earlier today.”

A roll of uneasiness moved through you. What the hell was he on about? “Who said I didn't come home last night?” you asked. And why did he expect you back at your building earlier? Unless…

He laughed, a cruel and bitter sound. “Don’t bullshit me. I know you were with him. And I know you went out with your friends today.” His smile was going to haunt you for days. “I'm sure you had a nice time, but you do look a little more alert than I expected.”

The unease quickly turned to dread. Bucky said he caught someone following you, but what if that guy wasn't the only one? Ray would've spotted Clark though if he followed you, right? “And how exactly do you know I was with my friends?” you asked, slowly backing away toward the door since he was blocking the elevator.

“I’m a journalist. It’s my job to get the inside scoop,” he joked. You weren't laughing.

“My life isn’t inside scoop and it isn't any of your business,” you said, making his smile fade away. “I think you should leave.”

His eye twitched. “But we just started talking.”

You took a deep breath. It was getting tiring being surrounded by men who didn’t listen. “Look, I’ve had a long day on top of a long week. If Bucky finds out-”

“Bucky,” he spat, like the name tasted horrible on his tongue. “You think he’s the only powerful man in this city? I have a powerful friend, too.���

You froze. “Does your friend happen to be Helmut Zemo?” you asked, trying not to show how afraid you were. Did he know him? Work for him?

“Why don't we grab that coffee and I can tell you more about it?” he asked, reaching for your arm.

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” you said, glancing behind you. You wished Bucky or Ray was there. One of them would be there soon, right?

“Looking for your little bodyguard friend?” he smirked like he knew something you didn't. “I don't think he’ll make it with a flat tire and all.”

Your heart leapt to your throat. “How did you-”

“Couldn't risk anyone interfering. You can thank the limo driver for that,” he said, darting around and blocking the main door when you tried to walk out. “Why do you look so scared? There's nothing to be scared of. We’re just going to talk.”

You had every reason to be frightened. You didn’t know what Clark’s intentions were, but you sensed enough that they weren’t good and he didn’t want to just have a conversation. Bucky for all of his sins wouldn’t raise a hand to you, but Clark? Zemo? You could really get hurt.

“I’m sorry, but I think you should go.”

“Do you even want to be with Bucky or are you just afraid of him?” You jumped when he grabbed your arm. “Or is it because he’s rich? You think he’ll spoil you if you spread your legs for him?”

The sudden onslaught of vitriol made you shake. “Let me go. Please.”

He ignored your wince when his fingers dug in. “He doesn't deserve you. He isn't good for you, but I am. Just let me help you,” he argued, trying to grab your phone with his other hand. “I have a car waiting out back. Just come with me and we’ll figure this out.”

“There's nothing to figure out and I don’t need your ‘help’,” you said, yanking your arm back. “Just go and leave me alone!”

“Leave you alone? You sound just like Lois,” he bitterly whispered. His ex. You remembered the name. “Either come with me or I’ll-”

You dashed to the building staircase, not waiting for him to finish his threat. It felt reminiscent of a scary movie, running up the stairs and spelling out your doom instead of running out the front door. But you’d be okay. You could call for help once you got to your apartment.

“Get back here!”

Your legs ached as you ran faster, but the adrenaline and the heavy sound of his footsteps helped you push through it. It wasn't long until you got to your floor and you didn't look back as you got your keys out. “Come on,” you whimpered, your hand shaking as you unlocked your door. You sensed Clark right behind you, but you slammed and locked the door before he could get in.

“Open the door!” he shouted, the door shaking as he slammed his fist against it.

“Go away!” you begged, swiping at your phone screen. “Please…”

The sound of your door being kicked in nearly made your heart burst from your chest. You spun around to find Clark just outside, his breathing heavy as he narrowed his eyes at you. Scrambling back as he stormed inside, you opened your mouth and did something you never thought you'd do since Bucky entered your life.

“Bucky, help!” you cried, hoping that whatever cameras Bucky had in your place had sound. “Help me, please!”

You tried to rush to your room, but Clark was faster. Stronger. He pulled you back so fast and so hard by your wrist that you fell backwards to the floor. Pain shot through your body and you felt like you couldn't draw your next breath when Clark’s shadow fell over you. Tears stung your eyes, your body temporarily paralyzed as he kicked your phone away.

“Look what you made me do,” he sighed, crouching over you. “Lois ran from me, too.”

“What…”

“She was stubborn. Headstrong. We had a big fight and, well…” He shook his head. “But you were always so kind to me, and I thought you’d make it all better.”

The night you came home and found Bucky waiting for you frightened you, but it paled in comparison to the pure terror you felt when Clark crouched over you. There was something dark and twisted in his eyes as he looked you over. Any trace of the nice guy you were used to seeing in the shop was nowhere to be found.

“Bucky,” you breathed, some of the pain subsiding as you tried to roll away. “P-Please, help me.”

Clark’s face twisted into a murderous scowl when he rolled you onto your back again and clamped a hand over your mouth. “Stop saying his name. Stop fighting me. I don't want to hurt you.”

Your eyes widened, barely able to breathe through your nose. Cark already hurt you. Pain bloomed everywhere he touched. There were sure to be marks or something with how hard he pressed against your mouth.

“You just need to understand,” he whispered.

You tensed up when his hand touched your thigh. You didn't know if it was to pry your legs open or to try to carry you out, but you wouldn't let him have you. And if he was going to have you, you wouldn't give it to him easily. So you struggled as much as you could and managed to move his hand away just enough for you to bite down.

He cried out and pulled his hand back, looking as shocked as you felt. “Why are you behaving like a petulant child? I’m trying to help you. Why don't you see that?!”

“Clark, you're hurting me. Please, stop.” Tears streamed down your cheeks when he wrapped a hand around your throat. “Bucky, HELP ME!” you tried to scream, the fingers around your neck cutting off your words along with your air supply.

Images flashed in your mind when you clawed at his hand. Putting together your first arrangement at your childhood home. Grabbing your favorite treat from the cafe. Finding a good book at Marc’s shop. The day Mrs. Crandle hired you. Laughing with your girlfriends. And waking up beside Bucky that morning, a soft smile on his face. Something you didn't expect to think about.

Were you going to die?

“Shut. Up.” he snarled, loosening his grip just a little. “Just let me-”

Neither of you saw the figure behind him until he was pulled off you and shoved across the room. It happened so fast you couldn't tell if it was Bucky or not. You held your throat as you coughed and greedily gulped the air, the sound of scuffling and objects breaking urging you to move away. Sitting up, you were vaguely aware of more footsteps entering your apartment, but couldn't see who they were. You just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.

You didn't want anyone else to hurt you.

Before you could get out of the room, a large, imposing body suddenly cradled you against it and gently held you when you tried to fight back. Blinking your tears away, you realized the man had blue eyes, but it wasn't Bucky or Ray. You didn't recognize him at all. Was he a new tenant?

“W-Who…”

“It’s okay,” the man assured you, quickly assessing you as the shouting and fighting continued. He brushed a finger along a rip in your cardigan. When did Clark do that? “Are you hurt?”

“I don't know,” you whimpered. Your wrist throbbed from where Clark gripped it, and so did your throat.

The fighting only lasted a few more seconds, the sound of heavy breathing filling your apartment before you heard, “Kotyonok?”

“She’s right here.” The man holding you let you go, but stayed close. “She’s safe.”

Safe. You weren't safe. You would never be safe again in this lifetime, would you?

“B... Bucky?” your voice cracked. You trembled and you thought you were crying, too, but you couldn't be sure. It wasn't until you blinked and felt a pair of almost familiar arms around you that your vision began to become more clear again. “You're here?”

“It’s me. I'm here,” he tried to soothe you, tenderly wiping your tears away. His hair was a mess and his clothes were disheveled, a far cry from the put together man you were used to seeing. “I’ve got you.”

Glancing across the room, you spotted Clark laying on the ground with Ray and Steve standing over him. You let out a broken sob when you took in the rest of the scene. Your potted plants and vases were broken, your little trinkets and frames shattered, and everything felt terrifying. It was supposed to be your home and it was once again invaded and forever tainted.

“Steve, bring him to the club. Shut it down. No one touches him until I get there.” Bucky’s metal arm curled around you and lifted you before you could protest that you were too heavy, the heat radiating from him soothing you. “Ray, deal with any neighbors who saw or heard anything. No cops.”

“You sure you don't need me to drive you?” Ray asked, concern etched all over his face when he looked at you. He looked both hurt and furious.

“I’m sure. Just get to the club after you deal with the neighbors.”

Something covered your body. Was it a blanket? A jacket? “What do you need from me?” the stranger asked.

“Get the car. Take us home,” Bucky ordered, carrying you away.

You didn't lift your head as Bucky carried you to the elevator. Did your neighbors hear the commotion? “He was waiting for me. H… He kicked my door in.” You sniffled, your body shaking uncontrollably. “He grabbed me and…”

“He won't touch you again. Ever,” he whispered. He was holding his anger at bay. You could feel it.

“I told him to go,” you explained, seeing the clench in his jaw. “I didn't… I’m sorry…”

Bucky gently shushed you. “You don't need to apologize. This isn't your fault. And I’m taking you home and no one is going to lay a finger on you ever again.”

You nodded, but some voice in the back of your head said you caused this somehow. It may have been the shock you felt since you rationally knew you hadn't done anything. “Thank you,” you whispered.

Bucky paused to look at you. “You don't need to thank me.”

“But you saved me,” you said. Him and the man you didn't recognize. “If you hadn't…” Your stomach rolled as you trailed off, not wanting to imagine the worst.

He held you closer. “If you call for me, I’ll be there.”

How did he get there so quickly? And Ray? “How did you know something was… I mean…” You sniffled again. “Did you hear me?”

Bucky tensed up. “Steve and I weren't too far from your place, and I got an alert as soon as your door opened. I knew something was wrong because Ray wasn’t here yet and you were still supposed to be in the limo,” he said, stepping out of the elevator and heading right to the car. “I dispatched Curtis immediately and we were close behind. Ray ran to get here.”

Your brows pinched. “Curtis?” you asked. Was that the man you didn't recognize?

“He works for me. I’ve had him keep an eye on you. You weren't supposed to meet him…” He swallowed and looked down at you. “Like this.”

Another man watching you. When exactly were you supposed to meet him? “So you heard me call for you?” you asked.

He swallowed again and nodded. “Yes.”

Never in a million years did you think you’d call out to him for help. You didn't consider that the cameras would ever be anything more than an obsessive way for him to have control over you, but it may have saved you today. And you couldn't imagine what you looked like as he looked over you. Your makeup ruined, shaking like a leaf.

“Try not to move too much,” he urged when you shifted in his arms. “I’m going to have my doctor look you over to make sure nothing’s broken and… to make sure you're okay.”

“Okay.” Your face scrunched up before you began to cry again. You were hurt and so confused. Nothing made sense and you couldn't even go home. “Why did Clark-”

Bucky let out a low growl and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Never say his name again.”

You hid your face in his neck, wetting his skin with your tears. “I was so scared.”

He slowly breathed out. “I was, too,” he admitted in a whisper. “But I’ve got you now.”

Bucky had you, but your tears didn't stop flowing and it didn't change what happened.

“I’m so sorry, Kotyonok,” Bucky whispered brokenly. He wasn't a helpless man by any means, but you were certain your sobs made him feel hopeless at the moment. “I can't fix what he did, but I’ll make him pay. He’ll fucking pay. I promise.”

You slumped against Bucky, exhausted from everything that transpired. You had no doubt he'd destroy Clark for hurting you. You just wished he never put his hands on you to begin with.

The partition lowered, but you kept your face hidden in Bucky's neck. “Nick got the driver,” Curtis announced.

“Make sure he’s brought to the club,” Bucky said, rubbing your back. “I need him to tell me exactly why he let you out of the limo before I beat him within an inch of his life.”

“He did it… The driver.” You sounded like you hadn't used your voice in days. “He did something to Ray's car.”

You hadn't been able to process what Clark said earlier, but you could now and it all made sense. The driver was at the winery the entire time you were and he would've had plenty of opportunities to mess with one of Ray's tires. Knowing that Ray wouldn't get to your building like normal, he let you get out of the limo and go into your building where Clark was waiting.

Clark also said you were more alert than he expected. Maybe you weren't paranoid by thinking something happened to the drinks. If you drank as much as your friends, you may have been more out of it and wouldn't have been able to put up any sort of fight against Clark.

Bucky tilted your head up and wiped a stray tear away. “He’ll pay, too,” he promised, not even questioning if what you said was true. He took you at your word. “There’s something else, isn't there?” he asked, grabbing a water from beside him and bringing it to your lips.

“He didn't confirm it, but…” You took a drink, the cool liquid making your throat feel a little better. “I think Zemo had something to do with this.”

Bucky’s mouth was set in a grim line and fury burned behind his eyes, but he softened his gaze for you. “Zemo knows you're my future wife. If he knowingly allowed someone to put their hands on you…” His metal fingers curled, but he pressed another gentle kiss to your forehead. “Did Jensen get that file like I asked?”

“He did,” Curtis confirmed, looking in the rearview mirror.

“Make sure he’s there, too,” he said, keeping his eyes on you. “Let's get you inside.”

A few minutes later, you found yourself lying in a guest bedroom with a blanket draped over you. Bucky didn't leave your side as he made a couple of calls, but you didn't pay attention to who he was talking to as you stared at the ceiling. You weren't sure if shock was wearing off or sinking in.

“Kotyonok? Dr. Cho’s almost here,” Bucky said, worried when you didn't look at him. “I can run you a bath after she looks you over and give you something for any pain you’re feeling. Or you can just rest.”

You made some sort of humming noise. Today was a day in your life that should've been fun, a day to remember a nice outing with your friends. The memories were tainted now, just like your home. It hurt so much. And you couldn't even message your friends because how would you start to explain what happened?

“What can I do?” he asked. He sounded desperate. This was something out of his control.

“I have to work tomorrow,” you said, testing your wrist and ignoring his question. Work was normal. You needed normalcy. “I have to…”

“What? No, you’re not working tomorrow. Mrs. Crandle will understand,” he said, taking your hand and pressing his lips to your wrist. You went rigid for a moment before you relaxed. He wouldn't hurt you. “You need to rest and stay here.”

You sniffled. What were you going to say if you called in? That a customer attacked you? “My stuff…” you said. There were things at your apartment you wanted, needed.

“Tell me what you want and I’ll make sure it's brought here. It isn't safe for you to go back there.”

“How long do I have to stay here?” you asked. Would you be a prisoner now as a means to keep you safe? He had every excuse in the world now to do so since his home was safer than yours ever was.

“We need to discuss some fail-safes, like getting you a panic button.”

“Kind of surprised you didn't make me carry one from the start,” you commented.

“You've been a bit skittish because of how I went about everything. If I gave you a panic button, it may have scared you into never leaving your place and I couldn't do that to you.”

He had a point, but you wouldn't say so. “But you could install cameras and have men like Ray and Curtis watch me?”

“Because I know I put you in danger, which is a reason why I did those things and why I wanted you here for good. I also wanted you here for selfish reasons, but your safety is the top priority,” he smiled sadly.

You almost laughed. He preached over and over about your safety and it turned out he was right in some way. “Looks like you got your wish,” you said, trying not to tear up again. “You’re moving me in before the month’s out.”

He looked stricken. “It wasn't supposed to be like this,” he whispered.

You studied him with a careful eye. Part of you thought in the beginning that he was twisted enough to arrange a setup so he could step in and play the hero, but he would never do something like that to you. He’d never let anyone else touch you if he could help it. And he couldn't fake the pain in his eyes. It hurt him that you were hurt.

“I really am thankful that you showed up tonight,” you said.

“I go where you go,” he swore, curling up beside you. “Always.”

He’d follow you into hell if you asked him to do so. “Will you please do me a favor?” you asked.

“Anything,” he replied.

“Cl… He mentioned his ex-girlfriend. Lois,” you said. “Can you make sure she’s okay?”

You weren't certain if Clark attacked you on Zemo’s orders or if it had nothing to do with Zemo at all, but you were afraid for Lois. As obsessive as Bucky was, it was a saving grace tonight that you had someone looking out for you. Not an excuse, but a silver lining.

“You're hurt and you're thinking of someone else?” he asked in awe.

You bristled for no good reason at all. “You don't have to worry about me. I’m fine.” You inhaled and exhaled, trying to compartmentalize again. If you could just go to sleep and pretend everything was normal, that you were just a florist with an average life… “I’m fine.”

Bucky shook his head. “You're not fine.”

“Of course I’m not fine! Nothing is fine!” you snapped. He didn't flinch. Didn't move. “I was followed! I was attacked! I…”

You were living in a nightmare.

Your chest heaved before Bucky put your face in his chest. The dam built up inside you, all the turmoil and stress you tried desperately to keep from surfacing, finally broke and overflowed. Your fingers curled in his shirt and it all came out in heart wrenching sobs, as if a piece of you died. You cried until your head hurt and your throat felt raw. Until you didn't think you had any tears left to cry.

He held you through it all, being the calm in your emotional storm, your source of comfort instead of your tormentor. “It isn't fair,” you cried. It wasn't fair what you were going through, but life was never fair.

“It isn't,” he agreed, not letting you go when you stopped crying. “But I’ll make them pay and we’ll get through this together.”

“Together?”

“Together,” he whispered.

You had to believe he was telling the truth, that things would look up and you’d heal from the pain. You'd either hold your head high or Bucky would hold your head up for you. Like everything else in your life recently, you had no other choice but to grin and bear it. And no matter what, Bucky would be by your side through it all.

Because everything led back to him, the threads of fate weaved together by his very hands.

And breathe, lovelies. This was a heavy chapter for me to write, and I just want to give Kotyonok all the love and comfort and wine and money and everything. What is Bucky going to do to Clark? Do we think Zemo will be pleased when he finds out what Clark did? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

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